DARK PHASE OF A DREAMER
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I am a dreamer.
Yes you heard a right sentence, I am dreaming since the day I
was born. There are many phases in my life where I like to think about dream but
I can’t as dreaming is in my blood. When I was a child, I was dreaming to walk
on my foot and want to experience the
things what I cannot. When I was a boy, I was dreaming about chocolates, cycling,
and fantasies. When I was in my youth, I was dreaming about love, romance, career,
growth, and fun. When I was in my 30’s, I was dreaming about cars, parties,
flats and everything that connects to a cool lifestyle. When I was in my 40’s, I
was dreaming about my family planning, my income sources and my lifestyle. When
I was in my 50’s I was dreaming about my retirement and life after it.
The day I stopped dreaming is today when I know everything
that I was dreaming was merely a lollypop to live this life happily. Someday I think
when I am in my corner to look my past and I found that I was alone in my whole
journey with my dreams. Someday I look on the mirror to find the dreams in my
eyes but it looks empty. Someday I think to calculate my earnings of the life
and find nothing but my flesh with some blood to run a life. Someday when I calculate
the days I reached to my dreams, I find a big zero.
The days were passed in my life like a silent film, where everything
was running without the music. It was the life I lived like everybody did and I
am finding me in same corner as everybody else. The life I was dreaming was
nothing but an image of illusion. Had I taken some steps back in my 20’s, life
was never being like this. At every junction I was adjusting with the environment
but never tried to change it.
I could have chosen my work in my youth that I like to do rest of
my life. I could approach my crush to propose my love. I could do everything
that I was dreaming about. I could live the city where I always wanted to be
and couldn’t just because of my dreams. It is good to dream but if I would have
lived my life as I wanted to live then everything would be a fun. I always
wanted to teach the poor but couldn’t just because of my silly job, if I would had
done that then my soul is not regretting for it now. I always wanted to travel
for peace but couldn’t just because of thinking about a right time, if I would had
done that my legs are not asking questions right now.
I was always capable of doing everything in my life but I had
taken my steps back just because I was dreaming about it. It was my life but I was
living it in my dreams. If I would have implemented everything then my life would
be more awesome then I dream about it now.
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